Mt 14, 13-21
When Jesus heard of the death of John the Baptist, he withdrew in a boat to a deserted place by himself. The crowds heard of this and followed him on foot from their towns. When he disembarked and saw the vast crowd, his heart was moved with pity for them, and he cured their sick. When it was evening, the disciples approached him and said,"This is a deserted place and it is already late; dismiss the crowds so that they can go to the villages and buy food for themselves. "He said to them, "There is no need for them to go away;give them some food yourselves. "But they said to him, "Five loaves and two fish are all we have here."Then he said, "Bring them here to me,"and he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish, and looking up to heaven, he said the blessing, broke the loaves, and gave them to the disciples, who in turn gave them to the crowds. They all ate and were satisfied, and they picked up the fragments left over–twelve wicker baskets full. Those who ate were about five thousand men, not counting women and children.
“Dismiss the crowds so that they can go to the villages and buy food for themselves.". In the words of the Apostles, we see a lack of concern for others and a desire to have a break, that is, to get rid of the problem as soon as possible. Perhaps it is not due to bad intention or laziness, because the Apostles had to deal with such crowds every day and they must have had a lot of trouble to watch over the Master so that he would not be trampled by the crowd, strangled because of the people, or even killed by some fanatic, of which there were probably many at that time. Anyway, after walking with Jesus all day and clashing with others in the crowd, they had just had enough, and it was best to get rid of the food problem by getting rid of the crowds. However, Jesus does not see it that way and wants something more from the disciples. He wants them to rise above the level of fatigue and give people food, even if they have too little of food. It is not enough, however, Jesus transforms it into something great, spectacular, which gives amazing results. Often small things done against myself, my own fatigue, when humanly I deserve rest, but I am still going, I will help; often such things lead to great miracles. The best confessions I have had are those that I often made "after hours", when the Lord God sent people in great need, hungry for His grace, thirsty for His love. After they converted, after their deep confessions, and then incredible joy and gratitude, I could see that God was in it. Of course, it would be best to say: the monastery is closed, I want to rest, please come during normal working hours. Humanly, everything would be ok because I have the right to react that way. Well, but the problem is that vocation really becomes work, not service, and I am a worker instead of a priest, because I do "from - to" and only as much as I was ordered or asked. It is a pity that sometimes I look at love as a duty, and not as it should really be: as a need of someone's heart, through which God calls for help, not only for help to this particular person, but also for help for me, so that I don't forget how to love. Jesus didn't have a calendar, His disciples didn't put up a sign saying, "Today the Master works until six o'clock in the evening." Jesus never looked at a person that way. This verb "to dismiss" is also translated as "to leave". Leave these crowds, Lord Jesus, leave these people. But how can God leave someone, how can God leave a person? Would you like to hear such words addressed to you that Jesus would say to you: I am leaving you, I don't care that you are in need, maybe I will come tomorrow? How would you feel hearing those words come out of his mouth? You would feel bad because it would be about you, but when it's about someone else, you don't have a problem with it anymore. Just like we have no problem passing by someone who asks us for help, that is, for love. Maybe then let us recall these words: in this begging man there is Jesus who asks for my love. And yet how many times have I asked and am asking for His love. Then maybe this time I'll show him some of my love.
Father Marcin Cwierz, OSPPE