"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience," (Col 3:12)

Mt 19:3-12

Some Pharisees approached Jesus, and tested him, saying,"Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever?" He said in reply, "Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator made them male and female and said, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, man must not separate." They said to him, "Then why did Moses command that the man give the woman a bill of divorce and dismiss her? "He said to them, "Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) and marries another commits adultery. "His disciples said to him, "If that is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry. "He answered, "Not all can accept this word, but only those to whom that is granted. Some are incapable of marriage because they were born so; some, because they were made so by others; some, because they have renounced marriage for the sake of the Kingdom of heaven. Whoever can accept this ought to accept it."

If that is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry. But Jesus then makes it clear that every kind of life comes with hardship and responsibility. Sometimes someone tells me: you're fine because you're a priest; you don't have to deal with your wife, children, get up in the morning to go to work. This kind of thinking of life, of vocation, is wrong, even terrible. Because if I understand my life in terms of dealing with someone, it's no wonder that I fall into discouragement, frustration, that I want to give up and leave the order or family. It is not surprising that in the face of difficulties, a person begins to look for an easy, pleasant life where he could not think about problems, where he would find the perfect wife, ideal husband, boss, job, community, friends. It's easy to fall prey to such thinking when we meet "perfect" people who smile at us, claiming that they understand us, our problems, and they don't have any worries themselves. Then it is easy to enter such a thinking, to lose common sense, give in to emotions and decide to take the easiest option. This is how the Pharisees thought, probably not only in divorce cases, and thus they managed to bend God's law, which from the beginning ordered the indissolubility of marriage. It's just that it wasn't about God's law at all, but about justifying one's own wicked intentions, in which egoistic thinking came to the fore. Because what is divorce if not looking only through the prism of yourself, justifying yourself, looking for good not for us, but for me? I am not saying that this is always the case, because there are certain cases where the sacrament of marriage is annulled. Even Jesus in today's Gospel gives such a possibility in one specific case (adultery), but He does not agree with treating this special bond as an ordinary contract that can be terminated just because today my wife oversalted the soup or bought the wrong beer. If God is called upon in something, if He is invited to a relationship, we must be aware that God takes us and our words seriously, while we do not take ourselves and others seriously. That is why there are so many injuries and life tragedies afterwards, because we cannot forget that these matters concern us who love and want to be loved seriously and sincerely. We don't want love to be reduced to the level of a product that is pulled out in the store and can be returned after a few days because it doesn't suit me. Then why did Moses command that the man give the woman a bill of divorce and dismiss her? He said to them: Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. We can use another translation: Because of your lack of inner transformation, he (Moses) allowed you to divorce your wives. Love transforms our lives, but it does not always promise that this life will be easy and pleasant. Sometimes love becomes a suffering, a pain that affects us. If at this moment we do not transform internally, but stick to our utopian images of love, to some utopian visions of happiness that we imagine and adapt other people to, sooner or later there will be a fall that will destroy us internally, divide us and kill our love, whether in marriage, community or other relationships. Because it is so in this life that it is man who has to adapt to given situations, and not situations to man, because it is impossible to predict what life will bring, whether when I join a religious community or when I get married. But you can always adjust your heart to what is good and what is bad, and then maybe there will be no such surprise when problems come, maybe our suffering will not kill us right away. I've heard somewhere that the main reasons marriages fail are incompatibility of characters (which is stupid in itself, because obviously we all have different personalities) and emotional immaturity (which is also stupid, because discernment does not use reason, but places everything on the emotions). Looking at today's times and today's Gospel, I will say that for me the main reasons: man's inability to change his heart and looking for the easiest way that today's world calls us to, giving us the opportunities to do so. And then justification is only a matter of time, it will always be found. The worst, however, is the inability of man to change his heart, that is, the hardening of the heart for love, which, if it is true, can accept someone's weakness, endure adversity and forgive sins. Such is the love of God that does not send us a certificate of divorce every time we make a mistake, but patiently forgives us and motivates us to continue striving for a good, beautiful life and humanity.

Father Marcin Cwierz, OSPPE

© Milosierni.com 2024

Milosierni13@gmail.com

(+1) 908 476 1477

"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience," (Col 3:12)